Parenting 101

Is there ever a time in a parent's life where it gets easier? Does it ever hit "cruise control"? I have two really great kids but they are wearing me out with worry. I worry about whether I have them doing too much or whether I don't have them doing enough. I worry about their health - is there more I could be doing to help E with his allergy issues? Was there something I could have done differently so Ash wouldn't have had so many ear problems? I worry about their social interaction - do they have enough friends? Is it the right kind of friends?

Recently my worries have been about the social side of my children's lives. My son is not the social butterfly that his sister is. She never met a stranger. He's never met a friend. She ran into new situations head first. He goes into them clinging to my right leg (which will be a problem if he gets much taller). His teacher promises me that once he's at school, he really interacts with the other kids especially on the playground. Based on what I've seen in person and in photos - I still find this hard to believe. No matter how many times we practice the songs at home for a school event - he stands on the stage frozen in place looking like he's never heard these songs before. He won't sing, he won't do the motions and he certainly will not smile! I took him for a speech evaluation last week because I was afraid his speech might be holding him back socially. The therapist said he's right on target with word formation and ahead of the game in sentence structure. Everyone tells me he will outgrow this shyness but I'm the mom and so I'll continue to worry.

Now I have the added stress of my dear sweet social daughter informing me that she has no social life and she wants one....or at least she thinks she does....well, maybe life is okay like it is - she's 12 and she's just not really sure what she wants. We went to the movies to see "17 Again" on Friday (great movie btw). Afterwards, we sat outside at Snuffer's and had some dinner. I couldn't help but notice her noticing all the groups of preteens and teens cruising the streets of the Town Square. I also noticed (cause I'm that observant kind of a mom) that her mood was going downhill the longer we sat there. When I inquired, she explained that a lot of her friends come up to the Square every weekend to see movies, shop or just 'hang'. Well, I'm not the type of mom that is comfortable with my baby girl loose on the streets of any town. Twelve is just too young in my opinion. With the things I've found out recently are going on in 6th grade- I know I'm right. I explained to my DD, that not all of her friends 'hang' in the Square. As a matter of fact, I was pretty sure that none of her friends from Gates 'hung out'. After a good conversation, I was feeling pretty good about my mommy skills! So we went to get a cookie, did a little t-shirt shopping at Delia's and was walking back around to our car when who did we spot.............the same group of friends I had just convinced her did not "hang" at the Square. UGH! I could feel the wind being sucked out of my daughter's good mood. My heart just sunk. In my favor was the fact they had a mother along with the group. In my heart though I knew this wouldn't make a difference and that my daughter was crushed that they had not invited her along for the evening. I tried to play it off that her cellphone was turned off at home and maybe they'd tried to reach her after school but we both knew that wasn't the case. She'd been snubbed and I was there to witness the whole debacle. So much for a fun 'date night' with my daughter. We both rode home in silence while we absorbed what we'd discovered. No matter how sweet my daughter is......no matter how much her classmates like her......she's not 'hang" at the Square kind of material. She's not the gal they think to invite along to something like that. Why? I wish I had even the slightest of clues? She's invited to the birthday parties. She's even occasionally invited to sleepovers. But she's never invited to 'hang' out at the Square or the park or anywhere else for that matter. Trust me - this is just as much of a gut punch to the mother as to the daughter. I probably wouldn't let her go but her friends don't know that. So wassup?

Not sure how to handle this one. Just trying my best to convince her that her life is just too full with tennis, school work and family to have time for hanging out. I know that is not the best answer because I know that if I were 12 years old - that answer would not repair my broken ego.

I guess with both of my children, the answer is patience and faith. Patience that it will all work itself out. Faith they will not be too scarred in the process of maneuvering thru life with me as a mother - a woman of not enough answers, a woman with the boot print of life still tattooed on her gut, a woman who wants to fix it all....