It has been over one year since I felt the need to blog or even log into blogger. Weird because I always have so much to say. I'm not sure what prompted me to even look at my blog yesterday to see if it was still there (it was but the background design had expired so I did a little updating). Then today, I decided to take a look at some of my older post. Funny how at certain times of the year, the same things are on my mind.
Right now, I'm feeling a lot anxious of the upcoming High School years of my darling daughter. She's about to hit her stride....spread her wings.....maybe even revolt a bit. I'm prepared - I was an awful teenager to my mom! However, my girl is so different than I was at almost 15. She is kind and thoughtful. She is smart and driven. She is athletic. We have the same wicked sense of humor and love sarcasm but the similarities end there. I went to high school with a max class size of about 15.....I graduated with a whopping total of 18! My daughter is going to a big fairly new high school and her class size will be about 500+. I'm scared for her. I'm excited for her. I'm scared and excited for me. Will we stay close? Will she turn against me and realize I'm not such a good mother after all? Will she change who she is to fit in? Will she change people around her and they way they think about life? Will she spend the next four years making good choices? Will she be safe?
How do you prepare for this day as the Mother? How do you let go of those strings and let them spread their wings? How do you prepare to say "goodbye" because that is the ultimate end-game of the teen years - they leave home, go to college, get a career or start a family of their own. They are never truly "yours" again from this point forward. The next four years belong to their friends. Then the four years after that belong to the university, sorority, boys, etc. Then hopefully there are some years after that in which they just belong to themselves - while they establish their future. Yes, I will always be her mother and I will always be her biggest supporter but I know in my heart that what we've had the past 14+ years is going to change. I'm not afraid of the change but I'm not embracing it either. Maybe I'm just accepting it is inevitable and digging in to prepare for whatever is coming our way.
