I feel like we are almost at the finish line of senior year. It's been quite a ride for sure. The mood swings and things subsided after Fall tennis ended and the college decision had been made. She picked LSU!! Although that was my secret first choice, it is hard to think of her going somewhere 7 hours away but it's better than choice 2 which was 21+ hours away from home. I think LSU will be a perfect fit for her. She practically grew up visiting the campus and cheering for the team. Of course, I will worry about her constantly but I do feel that she made the right choice for all us. Cameron was surprisingly supportive of any choice she would have made but he's over the moon that she made the right one.
Mom is starting to feel like her old self again which is allowing me to breath a little and start focusing on my goals in life. #1 is to be a good mother to both my children and give them equal and focused time. I feel like we have done a lot more as a family in the past year. A lot more family dinners at the table. A lot more activities in and out of the house. It's been so very nice but I'm sure it's just setting us all up for heartbreak when that one chair is empty over the next 4 plus years. #2 is to take better care of myself. I have used Mom's fall, the subsequent caring of Granny Jane and Mom, the move to the company business, and the stress of college prep - lose focus on me. I've gained back over half of the weight I lost two years ago and that makes me sad and angry. I am 45 years old - out of shape and FAT. I want to not only lose the weight but get my ass in gear. #3 make TSRP a success despite the obstacles. I knew coming in that working for family would be a bitch at times. Everyone thought my biggest obstacle would be my marriage. Funny thing is - I don't think it has had any impact on my marriage. We have always spent a lot of time together and talked a lot so this doesn't change much. Only my BFF knew the real obstacle would be my father. We are similar personalities and man is that a bad thing. We clash like a couple of Titans! If someone on the outside ever witnessed a good blow up between my dad and I - they would assume we hated each other. On the contrary, I admire the heck of that man. I see my shortcomings in him and that is what really chaps my ass. However, I see my strengths in him too.
I think if I can bring these three things into focus in 2015 - I will make it thru!!
