Today is the first day of school for my first grader and freshman. I have been on pins and needles since the moment school began today. Wondering if they are ok? Did Ash get lost? Did Evan remember how to follow the teacher's instructions? Is he adapting to his new teacher and class full of strangers? Was she able to get her Netbook replaced or fixed w/o issue? Did he get to see his old friends at recess? Is her new schedule much different than the one they gave us at orientation?
How the heck am I supposed to sit here and concentrate on my job with all these unanswered questions going thru my head? I am useless at best! I am possibly a hindrance to others at this moment. I will not be worth a darn until my children call me at their end of their school day and tell me they survived.
Until then......my head is killing me.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
High School
So my baby girl, all five feet ten inches of her, will be starting High School in less than a week. She is terrified and I am feeling so many emotions - I cannot even think straight these days. Her childhood is just a blur to me now. I try to remember her when she was a toddler, first grader, fifth grader - but all I see is this tall, beautiful teen who is about to embark on the biggest adventure of her life to date.
High school is frightening - whether you go to a small school like I did or a mammoth sized school like Ash. The main difference is - I never had to worry about getting lost inside my own school. Hazed - yes. Teased - yes. But not lost. Never lost. That is actually one of her biggest fears - she is rule follower and rule followers get to class on time - never tardy. So what if she cannot find her next class that first day of school? Ask an upperclassmen? No way - they admitted at orientation that they will purposely send you in the wrong direction because they find it amusing. That really scared her. She's never experienced what it is like to deal with malicious upper classmen. In middle school, they work hard to keep the three grades completely separated at all times. Now, she will be dealing with kids who torture freshman for grins and giggles.
I'm not worried about her getting lost. Her sense of direction and level of intellegence tells me she will figure that part out just fine. I am also not worried about her academically even though she is taking on four Pre-AP level classes, French I and Creative Writing. She will thrive - one of the few things in life I'm fairly sure of.
My greatest fear is boys. Yes, boys. Those smelly, coniving, horny creatures that have the ability to turn my little girls world to shit in a heartbeat. No matter how many 'talks' we have or how prepared I try to make her - some boy in the next four years will take her little heart and smash it into a million pieces. My loving, trusting, sweet baby girl is going to "fall in love" and there is nothing I can do to stop it from happening. I've told her boys are only after one thing at any age - but they are going to convince her otherwise.
My second greatest fear is friends. The ones she thinks will be her close friend forever. The ones she trusts her darkest secrets to. The ones that will eventually betray her trust and stomp on their friendship like it meant nothing. Yep - those friends. We all had one friend like that at some point in life. They suck but they are a reality.
Not sure which will hurt worse as I distinctly recall them both tearing me up inside when I was in High School. How do you protect them from these two fears? You don't. You can't. They too, will have to live and learn. But when each of these fears of my own effect my baby girl - my heart will be broken all over again and the wounds of my own heartbreaks will become fresh again. I guess that is another part of the circle of life. Hate that!
High school is frightening - whether you go to a small school like I did or a mammoth sized school like Ash. The main difference is - I never had to worry about getting lost inside my own school. Hazed - yes. Teased - yes. But not lost. Never lost. That is actually one of her biggest fears - she is rule follower and rule followers get to class on time - never tardy. So what if she cannot find her next class that first day of school? Ask an upperclassmen? No way - they admitted at orientation that they will purposely send you in the wrong direction because they find it amusing. That really scared her. She's never experienced what it is like to deal with malicious upper classmen. In middle school, they work hard to keep the three grades completely separated at all times. Now, she will be dealing with kids who torture freshman for grins and giggles.
I'm not worried about her getting lost. Her sense of direction and level of intellegence tells me she will figure that part out just fine. I am also not worried about her academically even though she is taking on four Pre-AP level classes, French I and Creative Writing. She will thrive - one of the few things in life I'm fairly sure of.
My greatest fear is boys. Yes, boys. Those smelly, coniving, horny creatures that have the ability to turn my little girls world to shit in a heartbeat. No matter how many 'talks' we have or how prepared I try to make her - some boy in the next four years will take her little heart and smash it into a million pieces. My loving, trusting, sweet baby girl is going to "fall in love" and there is nothing I can do to stop it from happening. I've told her boys are only after one thing at any age - but they are going to convince her otherwise.
My second greatest fear is friends. The ones she thinks will be her close friend forever. The ones she trusts her darkest secrets to. The ones that will eventually betray her trust and stomp on their friendship like it meant nothing. Yep - those friends. We all had one friend like that at some point in life. They suck but they are a reality.
Not sure which will hurt worse as I distinctly recall them both tearing me up inside when I was in High School. How do you protect them from these two fears? You don't. You can't. They too, will have to live and learn. But when each of these fears of my own effect my baby girl - my heart will be broken all over again and the wounds of my own heartbreaks will become fresh again. I guess that is another part of the circle of life. Hate that!
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