Goodbye 2008

I know for most of my friends, 2008 was not a banner year. I have friends with money troubles, health issues and family issues that overwhelmed any chance of joy in 2008. Their trials and tribulations made it hard for me to appreciate what a good year 2008 was for the family under my roof. Sure there were some tough moments but overall 2008 was a good year for me. I did not accomplish a single goal I set on 1/1/08. I'm still overweight and out of shape. I didn't catch up on any scrapbooks (although I came close at one point). I did not change jobs.

HOWEVER - no one I loved died in 2008!!!!!! Yep, that is my criteria for a good year!! In 2006, I lost my grandfather two weeks before Christmas. In 2007, I buried my other grandfather in May and then lost my father in law six days before Christmas. I was beginning to think that my son's birthday every year would be shrouded in death. It was such a joy this year to actually celebrate the birth of my son with my family, my parents, brother and grandmother. We were all able to experience E's joy at being 4 w/o making any travel or funeral arrangements. Woohoo!

********I did not see or speak to my sister in law one single time in all 365 days of the year. For those of you that know my history with her - you can understand the immense joy I feel about this particular milestone. I am so glad to have my brother "back" in the family. I know it was not the best of years for him but I am so grateful he got out of a bad situation.

2008 was a good year for my own family. I watched my baby boy grow into quite the little comedian and my daughter turn into such a wonderful young lady. My husband and I reconnected this year because money was no longer the thorn between us. We were able to relax and enjoy each other's company rather than fight over every bill or expense.

My parents moved to TC in 2008. Although the move and renovation about did in their marriage, I think they actually came out of it stronger and happier with life in general. Having them just around the corner is such a source of ease for the entire family.

I am almost afraid to cross over to 2009 tonight at midnight. Can 2009 be as good for me as 2008? More importantly can it be a good year for me AND all of my friends and family? Does it have to be one or the other? Let's all pray that it is a banner year for everyone we know and love.

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Word Up

Ok, so that was a cheesy 80's song reference for a title but considering I spent hours last night picking just the right songs off my computer collection to load to my new MP3 player, it was only fitting to have the 80's stuck in my head. Have I mentioned that I absolutely love my MP3 player because I realized today I can use it to drown out my angry coworkers?? Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!

So back to the real reason for my title.....it's time to pick my word for 2009!! For those of you reading my blog last year about this time, you may recall that I picked the word "Create" for 2008. The word was my inspiration to find ways to use my scrapbook skills to "create" new projects, my parenting skills to "create" special time with my children and my relationship skills to "create" stronger friendships. I think I did a pretty darn good job on incorporating "create" in my life in 2008. Now it is time to pick the word for 2009 and after a week of thought and deliberation.........I am choosing "Appreciate". I want to slow down my hectic life a bit to appreciate what I have and what God has given me. Sometimes I feel like my life is rolling by so quickly that I rarely have time to appreciate the snap shot moments right in front of me. Life is a precious gift and I want to appreciate every single moment I have with every single person I love in my life. Sometimes failing to appreciate what was right in front of me has caused much regret when the very people I took for granted are no longer in my life.

Here's to 2009........may it bring all the joy and creativity of 2008 sprinkled with the ability to appreciate the joy and creativity that comes my way.

Is it over already?

Wow, such build up and such disappointment coupled with relief that the most joyful and stressful of all holidays has come and gone. Christmas Eve at my parents house was very nice. My hopefully soon to be ex sister in law actually let my nephew spend the evening with us so that was a nice surprise. Despite alot of reasons not to be, he's really growing up into a great kid. My brother was especially joyful having B with us for the evening. Lots of gifts were opened by all - the older kids loved all their new clothes and my E loved all the toys from his grandparents. After cleaning up the mess and putting away some of the toys, we headed home to get the kids snuggled in bed for Santa's arrival. E is just beginning to understand what Santa is all about so convincing him to go to bed was not easy. When they were both finally sound asleep, the work began for DH and I. He started assembling the train table that Santa was bringing for E's room. I worked on finding where I'd hidden all the other gifts and then arranging them by the tree. I ended up helping with the table assembly because I remembered that I actually wanted this thing to hold up under a toddler's play standards and my husband is not well known for his assembly skills. At 2am, the mission was accomplished and we went to sleep.

A woke up first for the first time EVER and proceeded to wake up her little brother. Bless her enthusiasm but I could have used a few more hours of sleep, thank you very much. 8am was just way to early for Mommy to focus on anything going on near the tree. I did take lots of pictures with my new camera but who knows if any will turn out since my own eyes were certainly not focusing well. The kids seemed pretty excited about the haul from Santa and we all spent the rest of the day opening boxes, working with twisty ties and tearing into plastic containers that are impossible to open. A loved her new DS and has barely let it out of her sight since. E loved the train set but the stupid tracks keep coming apart so I reduced the spiral design so something less complicated and he still managed to pull the tracks apart. I'm thinking about some craft glue so I will not spend the next few months putting the track back together every morning!! All the new stuff required a day of purging and reorganizing. Since E got a VTech Motion, he needed a tv so we took his sisters away from her (she's okay w/ the idea as long as we get her a new one at some point soon). Then there was the removal of our old stereo stand and speakers which opened up so much room in our family room. It is amazing how big the speakers were 16 years ago. Each speaker must have been 4 ft tall so just taking those out of the room makes a world of difference. The new speakers are like 6 inches tall and sound so much better.

After purging some closets and dragging out bags of clothes for charity, we were off to my parents for our traditional Christmas Day lasagna dinner. No Christmas is complete w/o my mother's homemade lasagna. YUM!!!! It was quite a treat for us to have three homecooked meals this week by Mom. She doesn't like her new kitchen so she rarely cooks anymore.

Friday we were off to Denton to pick up E's pictures from Sears (so cute, so darn cute). We decided to get the kids hair cut while we were there and have a nice lunch at El Chico (miss that place from our years in Denton - it was always a staple for us to eat there at least once a week back then).

Saturday was a stay home sick day for me and E. I think all the crud in the air finally got to both of us. He and I spent the day playing, watching movies and cleaning house. Fun stuff!! That night, DH, A and I played Monopoly. She'd never played the real thing so she was so excited to learn. After about an hour into the game, she looked at me and said - how does someone win this game? I laughed because I can remember marathon Monopoly matches that lasted days!!! I told her that usually you just quit when everyone is tired and then count your money to see who wins. We ended up playing til Midnight and picking back up on Sunday morning. DH won - he always does.

Sunday it was furniture shopping with my mom. I went with her to help her pick out a new couch but instead she ended up with a new mattress and I ended up with a new kitchen table and chairs. Go figure. We've been looking for a table set for over 6 months and had just about given up on finding what we wanted. So the fact that they were having a big sale and they actually had my dream table was a pretty big deal!! Mom's couch will have to wait. Last night, we went over to Mom's to help with some projects. DH helped my mother organized half her garage (everything had just been thrown everywhere when they moved in and never put away) while I put together my dad's new elliptical machine. It was with heavy heart that we all headed to bed last night because we knew the wonderful "family time" was coming to an end and it was back to normal Monday morning (at least for us working folk).

So here I sit at my desk, while my boss is on vacation and my coworker is angry that he's here, wishing for more lazy family days and wondering how Christmas came and went so quickly another year.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is Christmas!!!

The fun began last night when the four of us did our traditional family dinner at Mac's Steakhouse. It was Delicious. Afterwards, we dropped A off at a friends and came home to put our sleeping son in bed. Then it was fun time for just me and DH. It has always been our tradition to open our gifts to each other before all the other gift opening takes place. I think this stems from the way his parents celebrated the holiday. They always bought each other lots of gifts and opened them Christmas morning when no one was there. Since Santa visits our house on Christmas morning, we usually settle for the 22nd or 23rd. This is getting harder and harder to pull off since E's bday is the 21st and we'll have a bday dinner at Mom's to squeeze in every year. Last night, with the holiday music flowing, the tree lit and our comfy clothes on - we sat down and opened gifts. I got some wonderful things this year - the most wonderful being my new Canon Rebel XS that I have wanted for years!!! I also got a couple seasons of Gilmore Girls on DVD (I'll need a few sick days to get thru those), the new Nickelback cd, some earrings, a jogging suit, an Ohio State sweatshirt and some great books (I cannot decide which one to read first). I got him a home theater system as our 16 yr old stereo is on it's last legs. He also got a lot of LSU stuff, some clothes and a few books. It was a great night!!

Tonight, we will do Christmas at my parents!! Looking forward to it!

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas!!!

One year

It was one year ago today that we received an early morning phone call telling us that my husband's father had passed away. Although he'd been sick for the past year, had been in the hospital for several weeks and had just been hooked up to a dialysis machine - his death was a shock to us all. The doctors had indicated that we would be able to move him to a nursing home within a week and might be able to have him back in the senior home after some therapy. They never prepared us for his death. When I lost both grandfathers, we were told the time had come. It certainly does not make the final moment any easier to deal with but there was not the "shock" factor involved.

The passing of his father made my husband an orphan. An orphan at 41. I could not begin to fathom what must have been going thru his mind as we buried his father on our son's third birthday. To this day, I cannot begin to understand the pain he must carry in his heart.

His parents were wonderful people that really lived life to it's fullest. In their heyday, they were quite the party animals and were known to host a mean cocktail party. Early in their marriage they were told they couldn't have children so they adopted a baby girl. Seven years later she died of a brain tumor. Can you imagine what that would have been like in the late 1950's - there were no options of surgery or chemo back then? You were just told your child was going to die and then you had to watch it happen. Before they found out about the tumor, they had adopted a toddler boy. He came from a rough background and needed a lot of love and support. As they were trying to make him a part of their family, they were watching their daughter die. Situations like that tear a family apart but that did not happen in this situation. In fact, I believe it made their marriage stronger. About nine years later, a miracle happened - she found out she was pregnant. Of course, that miracle baby is my husband. He and his parents were very close. They adored their youngest son and he loved and respected them both. Losing his mom five years ago was tough but we had watched her health deteriorate for a very long time. Losing his dad last year was so much more difficult to handle. He and his dad golfed together (even up until about six months before his death, you could find him on the golf course with his buddies - did I mention he was 89?). He and his dad had so much in common - their love of football, the joy of a good game of golf, politics, outdoors, life in general. The only opinion the two really differed on was whether LSU or Texas was the better school and better football team. There were many Burnt Orange and Purple arguments over the years but it was all in good fun.

I really do not understand how he's survived this last year w/o being depressed, angry, withdrawn but somehow he has managed to get thru this first year. There are times he's not himself and seems a lot less patient with everyone and everything but I think those things are pretty normal.

As much as I miss his mom and my grandfathers, this Christmas without Ray has been so hard for me to wrap my brain around. I see Texas things in the store and pick them up to get him for Christmas. When I was ordering pictures at Sears last Sunday, I counted an 8x10 for him. He was such a generous and gracious man and his presence this Christmas will be sorely missed. Ray loved Christmas. He loved to shop, he loved to wrap the presents and he loved giving and getting gifts. He always wanted to open the gifts the minute we arrived each year to celebrate the holiday.

My husband's brother lives in the family homestead and we are heading there tomorrow to share Christmas with him. It will be a day of mixed emotions. A day where two brothers take stock of how much their lives have changed in the past year. A day to reflect on the joy their parents brought to the holidays every year. A day to reflect on the meaning of family and cherishing what is left of theirs.

We've missed you Raymond. Thanks for raising such a great son.

Update

Only 8 days til Christmas.....

Miss H came thru her foot surgery just fine. I hear her foot is really swollen and pain pills are still a must so no school for her til after the holidays. Thanks for all prayers and good thoughts sent her way.

I am anxiously awaiting a phone call from my dear daughter. They had a clarinet test in band today for the honor of chair order (first chair, second chair, etc.). She is obviously hoping for first chair so I'm holding my breath as I type. There's the phone.....she got 5th chair. I can tell she's disappointed but she's looking forward to challenging the ones above her to move up some chairs. She was excited about the interview she did today for the school board. They recorded the interviews and will play them for the school board next month.

Guess I'd better run for today...haircut in 45 minutes - YEAHHHH!!!!!

10 days to go

10 days left before Christmas and I think I'll make it. I actually shopped at two malls this weekend - neither extremely successful but E seemed to enjoy himself so it was all good.

This was a weekend in split parenting. A had a big tennis tournament in Allen on Saturday. It's one of those that if she wins out on Saturday, she plays again on Sunday for the semis and finals. Well, not that I do not have faith in my daughter's tennis ability but our experience has been that we get all bundled up for these tournaments, pack lots of snack and things for E to do during the day and then A loses in the first two matches and we go home. With this one being just a few weekends before Christmas, there was lots to be done and sitting at a tennis tournament for an entire day seemed like a crazy idea. So we decided DH would go to the tennis tourney w/ A. I would then spend Saturday w/ E shopping and getting stuff done around the house. I had arranged to deliver a Scentsy order to a friend in Arlington so we met near the Parks Mall. I figured after lunch, E and I could get some shopping done. Oh my gosh - 30 minutes to park. 45 minutes in line at Bath & Body Works to check out. 45 minutes to get out of the parking lot. 20 minutes to get up on the highway. The only saving grace of the whole experience was that E was willing to ride in the stroller so I had a place to put the bags and he was such a good boy thru the whole process (except for the fact that he's obviously on a world bathroom tour but that's another story). By the time we got out of the mall, it was too late to get all the way to Allen for A's quarter finals tennis match. Yep, oh me of little faith - she actually won her first two matches of the day and had advanced to the quarter finals. UGH! To make matters worse for my mommy guilt - she won the next match too and I'd missed all three. Her father said she played some incredible tennis that day and he'd really seen her game 'turn the corner'. Oh great, 8 years of lesson, 5 years of sitting thru tournaments, thousands of dollars invested in rackets, outfits, drills, shoes, etc. and I miss the darn 'turning'. Just great!

Did I mention that her next match was Sunday at 11:30 in Allen for the semi-finals? Did I also mention that I had an appointment at Sears at 10:30 to have E's Christmas and birthday pictures taken? Did I also mention that I'd promised the little guy that we'd meet Santa on Sunday? So once again, I had to disappoint my daughter and spend the day keeping my son happy. How is it fair that if you have more than one child - your life becomes a balancing act of trying not to scar one for life too much when you spend time with the other? Luckily, A was so excited about her wins that she wasn't too disappointed in me. E's picture session was trying. He is so shy and hates strangers. Well, the photographer was a stranger (silly me for not introducing them sooner). He would not smile unless I stood behind the photographer and made silly faces. I'm sure I entertained the whole lobby as I stuck my fingers up my nose and stuck out my tongue. Sorry no pictures of me in the act that I know of. After finishing the Sears experience, we head into the mall in search of the big guy in the red suit. Imagine the fear rising in my brain as I realize the center of the mall has kiosks but no Santa setup. I'm about to tell my son that Santa couldn't make it Golden Triangle Mall on this day when he looks up at me and says "he's here, I can feel it". So we look down the different arms of the mall and sure enough, near Macy's was a setup that looked like it might be Santa's workshop. Did I mention my son is painfully shy and hates strangers? Well, imagine my surprise when my almost 4 year old runs straight up the entrance and jumps in Santa's lap. He tells him that he wants a Speed Racer track for Christmas (no I had no idea and do not have one). He then turns and smiles for the camera and doesn't want to leave Santa's lap. Of all the Christmas memories I thought I'd have this year - seeing my son make buddies with Santa was not one of them. No, it did not make up for missing my daughter play great tennis - but it sure is up at the top of my list!

I did redeem myself with her a bit. She lost her semi-final and they met me at the house at 2pm where I helped her prepare for her Cotillion Winter Dance. She asked me to stay at the dance and watch the whole time. Since I'd disappointed her all weekend, I figured this was the least I could do. I had so much to do at home but I sat there with a few of the other moms and watched our well groomed, nicely dressed middle schoolers do the fox trot and swing with one another. It was actually a wonderful experience. Of course, she's taller than 85% of the boys in the program but no one seemed to mind. During one dance, four boys cut in to dance with her. She beamed and I was there to see it. I guess I was beaming too. I think she forgives me for missing her tennis and I think I can forgive myself too.

Despite all the running around, I managed to get the laundry done, hung and put away. I also wrapped and organized the presents under the tree and did some work on the computer. All in all, I will chalk this up as one fairly successful split parenting weekend w/ a sprinkle of guilt. I know DH wishes he could have seen the Santa experience so he has his own guilt to deal with.

Hope all my friends and loved ones are having a relaxing, wonderful, holiday preparation.

P.S. - say some prayers for my friend Ms. K's daughter, H, who is having surgery on her foot this morning. H is a figure skater and we are all hoping this surgery to repair a section of dead bone in the growth plate of her foot is success and she's able to pursue her dreams on the ice again soon. She is my daughter's age and the two are friends so we are all praying for H to have a very speedy and complete recovery.

December

So I look down at the calendar and realize I have exactly 15 days left to shop for Christmas. Holy crap - how did this year fly by so fast? I actually thought I had a handle on things this year and would be hitting the mid-December time frame ahead of the game. NOPE!!! WRONG!!!! Suddenly the countdown is ticking in my head and I realize I'm not close to being done. I do admit that I am probably farther along than I am at this point most years. I have done the Christmas cards, wrapped the gifts I've already bought, the house is decorated, the tree is up but there is still much to be done. I have gifts to mail to relatives out of state. I haven't really gotten anything for Cameron yet this year. Most of the stuff I bought for my dad - I had to give to him for his birthday last week (not a shocker - I do that every year). The real blessing is that the kids are pretty much done. I have one more thing to get the E man and he's complete. A turned out to be a very expensive person to shop for since she only wants electronics and clothes. She wanted a digital camera and I am pretty sure I'm getting a new one for Christmas so I plan to give her my current one. She also wants a laptop and although I don't argue with the idea that we need a 2nd computer in the house - I just cannot bring myself to spend that kind of money on one. Maybe after the holidays. Finally, she wanted a Nintendo DS and since I nixed everything else - I am giving in on this one. Her brother overtook the Game Boy she got for her bday year before last so I think it's a reasonable request. It's the clothing costs that are killing me. She needs tennis clothes and those are not cheap. E was easy to shop for this year - all toys - all boy - all on sale!!

I know I'll get it all done in the home stretch - I'm just grousing that another Christmas has snuck up on me when I wasn't looking. Seems to happen every darn year. Hopefully, next year will be the year that I actually get it all done early so I can sit back and enjoy the meaning of the season w/o stress chomping at my heels.

Merry Christmas to all!!