Is it just me or are all siblings difficult? I adore my baby brother. We have always been close. As kids, I was his 2nd mother. As teens, I was his protector when he was in trouble. As adults, I am sometimes his friend, sometimes his confidant and sometimes the greatest source of frustration in his life. I do not have the type of personality to hold back what I'm feeling. I have a filter when it comes to most people but not when it comes to my family. If they are on my last nerve, they will know it right away. If I'm disappointed in them - they don't have to guess. I either express myself to them verbally or via email (or letting writing back in the stone ages before computers). I get this from my father - he's the king of pissing people off thru his words and I must be the queen. My brother is usually on the receiving end of these tirades from both of us. The reason being is that my brother is a really frustrating human being. He has a heart the size of Montana but he's also one of the laziest and most thoughtless humans on the planet. He is all about the moment he's in. There is no thinking of the future, there is no looking back at the past. He lives the song "Love the one you're with".
When you are the focus of his attention, he can make you feel like a million bucks. He's a charmer - a snake charmer! Women flock to him. Men want to be his friend. He has a winning smile, muscles and charisma. Who wouldn't want to hang out with him? But when you are not the focus of his attention, you might as well not exist. We've all been thru these phases of his life. When he was married, the family rarely saw him. He didn't need us - he had a new family. But when things went wrong in his marriage, he came back to his family where we became his focus again. Then he found a girlfriend and we were dog doo again. Then my parents moved into a new house with a pool and suddenly he wanted us in his life once more. It's a never ending ride that I am frankly tired of at this stage in my life but like I said, he's a charmer so everytime I'm the focus or part of the focus - I forget his faults.
My parents and I have bailed him out of more tight spots over the years than we care to count but he doesn't remember any of it because it is in the past. He's living with my parents now but doesn't do anything to help with the house repairs or unpacking. He works long hours and uses that as his excuse but he's really around enough to help, he's just lazy. He was in the pool all weekend while we worked on the deck and yard. He watched us work and never offered to help. It just frustrates me especially when we were doing all of this for Mom and she's his #1 fan.
I have to remind myself from time to time that he comes by it naturally because he's our father's son. Dad is also someone who can sit back and watch everyone else work and then takes credit for the finished product. The difference is - Dad is the idea guy. He's the money guy. He comes up with the plans to fix stuff or change stuff and provides the cash to get it done - he just doesn't have any intention at his age to do the actual work.
Sad thing is when my brother does help with a project, it gets done in less than half the time as when we try to do it w/o him. I guess that is the part that frustrates me the most. When we need something done quickly, he's never around to help.
Did I mention he's a charmer? So just when I'm ready to pop him in the head, he makes a joke or acts silly and I forget he's a flaming poopoo head.
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